


do not beg for what does not want to stay

by lesbianaruto



Category: Naruto
Genre: Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, F/M, Fix-It, Friendship, Gen, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, but anti team 7 canon dynamics, not really anti sasuke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:34:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22514065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbianaruto/pseuds/lesbianaruto
Summary: In which Sakura and Naruto learn to let go and move on.
Relationships: Haruno Sakura & Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura/Yamanaka Ino, Hyuuga Hinata/Uzumaki Naruto, Past Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Sasuke (one sided), Past Haruno Sakura/Uzumaki Naruto (one sided), Past Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto (one sided)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 104





	do not beg for what does not want to stay

**Author's Note:**

> "Don't be afraid of losing people  
> Be afraid of losing yourself  
> Trying not to lose someone."

Sometimes she would wake up with the sensation of her chest burning, as if something was going through her heart and stealing something. _Herself._

Sometimes she saw Naruto hit his own face and she flinched, feeling the aggression and cruelty of that act directed at himself. She was guilty of hurting Naruto several times, and she regretted it every day, but something about him being so frustrated and disappointed with himself that he chose to hurt was disturbing.

And one of the many red lights.

She thinks that maybe things could not be different. In the midst of so much war and so much loss, it was somewhat justified how they ran after something lost. Something that was part of them, in one way or another. You can't afford to lose when you don't have much.

They were too young, too depraved of love and patience, to take the trouble to understand that no one knows the best for anyone. The minds of those they love are not shaped. You cannot save those who don't want to be saved. You cannot begin to understand someone when you're both shouting. The desperation to understand, to maintain, to be sufficient did not let them listen.

Their love smothered whoever they loved and eventually themselves. Devotion and idolatry spoke louder than the pure feeling of loving. And even though they still loved it, it was different, because they allowed themselves to lose. And then love made more sense, so they felt they could finally breathe, so they understood that nothing grows in the dark, that no tree root grows with a weight on it.

It had been two years since the end of the war. Two years since they forgave themselves and let go. Two years since Sasuke left again, this time to find out who he was and what he needed. And so that they could find themselves away from him, too.

After the war, for a while, Naruto and Sakura were uncomfortable with each other. It was something organic, something that made them melancholy and confused, and again with the need to get attached to each other, not to let that new feeling take hold, not to respect their own limits.

"I want to be in love with you. But I don't know if I am." Naruto confessed to her one day, while they ate together late at night in Ichiraku, and it was so sudden that she kept silent for too long, and he said goodbye, leaving her sitting for a long time.

"You don't need to be in love with me." She replied the next day, meeting him after his training. "You don't have to love me that way for me to be here."

Romantic love is not the most important, most valid or strongest form of love. It's just love, with some differences, and the same weight.

He just nodded, and the silence was scary between them because it was new. They were used to fighting all the time and talking over each other. This new layer of their relationship was strange, changing their dynamics in a way that made Sakura feel older and more mature. Naruto was no longer imposing his feelings, struggling with himself to be what he thought she wanted and needed or perceiving love as the simple desire to have and deserve it.

Sakura was no longer the girl who needs to make herself bigger all the time, who needed to insult others to hide her own insecurities. She felt broken, disconnected from herself, confused about who she really was after so long supporting herself behind a facade. But she was free.

They both were.

"What about Ino?" The training was over, and they were lying on the grass, side by side, just resting and enjoying the silence that was no longer uncomfortable between them.

"What about her?"

"Do you love her?"

She thought of Sasuke, all the times when loving him hurt, all the times when she swallowed that pain and let herself dream of everything that could be. Everything they could be and everything he didn't seem to see. Everything that only existed in her. Everything she built on them, alone. In a way, she loved Sasuke, still.

With Ino, the only thing she needed to build on herself and her friend was ridiculous enmity. A rivalry they never believed in, but it was built because it was easy. It was comfortable to put that in the background, when her feelings for Sasuke appeared. When being loved by the most popular guy at school it seemed too tempting. It was superficial, it was ugly, it was human. And it was over. But with Ino, it didn't end.

"Yes. I do."

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

It was winter and they were returning from Kakashi's office with Sai, and were looking for somewhere to eat something other than ramen, much to Naruto's visible disappointment. Another thing visible about him was the red scarf he wore.

"Where did you get that?" She pointed to the scarf. "It's pretty."

"Hinata made it for me." She couldn't help the smile that formed on her face after seeing the way Naruto blushed, embarrassed.

"You guys are very close these days." Sai pointed out, seeming to dictate scientific data.

"They are, aren't they?" She tapped her shoulder against Naruto, laughing, and felt light and happy. She thought of Hinata, her friend, someone who all seemed to take notice and give credit to the incredibly brave and kind person she was, in a world where it was difficult to find both. She thought of Ino, her girlfriend, and the way she had hugged her the last time she had a nightmare, pressing her hands against her chest and promising that nothing would go through it and steal anything from her. She would break the nose of the first person who tried. "Took you long enough."

"Same for you." He smiled. She did too.

"Long enough for what?" Sai looked confused.

"For us to stop being dumb." She replied, wrapping her arms around Sai, and pulling him closer to the two.

"When did you stop? I haven't noticed." She pushed him with her waist, much lighter than she used to, and they went to Choji's restaurant, making jokes at each other's expense.

It took time to realize that they tried to carry mountains they needed to climb, and they had left out the wind because they couldn't see it. But the time was here, and they were finally okay.


End file.
